Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.