She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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