Did you just see the Batmobile???
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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