Umm I'm too high to move.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He keeps bees of course he's weird
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize