does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
