we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
