Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
