I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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