Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
