I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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