hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
