You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
