You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
