drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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