The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
