If i come over, it means nothing
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
