he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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