i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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