oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I bet he comes in French.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
