Whod you bang
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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