do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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