he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sacagawea was the original milf.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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