Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
