Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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