no, he came in my armpit
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
