the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
