I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
