So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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