I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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