Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
