he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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