No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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