Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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