okay pat passed out under dana's car
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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