can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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