i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
