Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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