i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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