so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I love you. Go after that dick
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
