the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize