Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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