Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
