guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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