pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
