So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
