I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
