I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
