it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
