i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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