How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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