I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
