Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
