You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
