i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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