So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
