:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize