I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Randomize
