Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
