i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
