How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize