I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
