i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
