i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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