can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
