I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize